I HATE SKUNKS! Almost As Much As I Hate Cats!!!!!

I have had a long and embattled experience with this member of the weasel family.

But I am getting ahead of myself, some back story is needed first.

I’m allergic to cats.

I hate ’em!

If I even get a whiff of cat hair or cat dander I blow up.  Red eyes, wheezing, running nose, sneezing, eyes itch to no end. This goes on long after I remove myself from the area that the cat was in.  It usually makes for a pretty miserable rest of the day.  For this reason, I try to make sure that any place that I am going to be at for any extended period of time is ‘Cat Free’.

Feral Cats are also one of the biggest offenders of predating on nesting birds, not excluding duck nests.  Cats are excellent hunters and even tame cats will actively hunt birds and bird nests even though they are well fed.

In my eyes this make them vermin.  Just don’t like them.

The farm has cats.

They are a necessity.  They keep the mouse population down and are good at controlling other related pests.  Due to this, I must tolerate them.

When I travel to the home farm, I usually make my trip through the garage as quickly as possible.  I don’t stop and try not to breathe as I pass through the feline’s domain.  I have also made it quite clear to the cats that they are not my friends.

Where Is This Headed?

I am sure you are asking yourself:

Why is he talking about cats when the picture shows a skunk?

Good question.

Last October during waterfowl season as I was settling in for an evening at the farm with my two kids and mother, relaxing and making the decoy plans for the morning; checking and rechecking our lists.  I had forgotten something in the pick-up that needed my immediate attention.

It was late, dusk outside, but unseasonably balmy for late fall.

I was just running to the pick-up, parked right outside on the driveway in front of my mother’s two stall garage.  I had to walk right past the light switch.  Apathy or laziness, I don’t know which, caused me not to flip the light as I walked by.  I did have my cell phone in my left hand.  I opened the double doors and just started walking out through the garage.  As I got about halfway to the garage door, I felt what I assumed was one of her cats, brushing up against my pant leg as cats are want to do when greeting someone affectionately.

This was odd.  The cats don’t like me and I make it readily clear that I do not like them.  The fact that we had a mutual disdain for each other triggered my curiosity, so, I flipped on my cell phone flashlight.

It was NOT a cat.  A kitty maybe, but not a cat.

Piss Kitty to be exact.

A great big bushy-tailed skunk had been in the garage feeding on the cat food when I exited the house and I must have startled it.

Thankfully, I did not startle it enough to cause it to excavate its scent glands as it did not spray me, just a friendly brush up against my leg.  Upon seeing who, or more correctly, what had just brushed up against me; I hastily returned to the house.  I did not know I was still capable of reaching full sprint speed that quickly.  In my college days, I was never known for swiftness. I did, however, play Wide Receiver for 3 seasons at Valley City State University and I know I had just posted what would have been a 4.4 40 time.

Once back in the safety of the house, I went into action.  My .17 was in the pick-up and I was determined to exterminate this skunk.  I went out the back, through the patio, around the east end of the house. I got the rifle out of the cab and proceeded up the driveway towards the garage.  I must have been really quick, cause that Piss Kitty was coming right at me down the sidewalk.  I reversed course and jumped up into the truck bed as the skunk ran right next to the tires.  I couldn’t get a clear shot until the skunk was well out into the yard.  The low light conditions caused me to have to wait until the skunk was under the illumination of the yard light.

I missed my striped friend that night.  In fact, he eluded me until spring.

This past spring though, I was able to exact my revenge on him and a host of his other wooded friends.

It was another weekend, this past spring, during our conservation spring Snow Goose season.  The kids and I were again up at my mother’s for the evening and I was getting ready for a spring snow goose hunt in the morning.  We had finished supper and I was getting the kids ready for bed when my mother reported:

The Skunk is in the garage again!

I was ready this time and had the rifle in the house.  I had been plotting my revenge all winter and I was going to get this Piss Kitty.  She said it went out the west door so I sprinted to the west of the house, hoping to find him before he got to the cat tails of the slough next to the farmstead.

I couldn’t see him, so I started combing the back yard for any movement.  I reached the garbage pile and was searching the trees and undercover.  I don’t know why, be it the various pieces of refuse in the pit or just my determination.  In scanning the trees and bushes, I had missed the skunk, rummaging through the garbage pile, not 10 feet in front of me.

I saw him, and at the same instant, he saw me.  I guess this time I was quicker on the draw as I was able to rattle off my 10 rounds before he could rattle off his one, super-scented round.

Revenge had been exacted.

The next morning, wrapping up our hunt, I got another one in the front yard out by the grain bins.

A two-for-one weekend.

Not Just a Nuisance!

Beside being cat food thieves and a nuisance, skunks are my enemy for another reason.  Along with Raccoons, skunks are primary ‘Duck Nest’ predators.  Raiding hens on the nest is a common occurrence when there are high numbers of Skunks and Raccoons in the area.  This makes control of their numbers a necessity.

Like the Wily Coyotte, it is this hunters opinion that the only good skunk (or raccoon) is a dead skunk.

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